writing argument

Kia ora. Here is the argument I wrote during writing time when we were learning how to write a speech. I chose the topic and Max P and Mrs B helped me with the writing. I wanted to be a class finalist but I didn't quite make it. Next year, I am going to work much harder so I get in the finals.

Drinks that contain a lot of sugar should be banned. Te Aranui	Do you buy sugary energy drinks? I believe  energy drinks that have heaps of sugar in them should not be allowed.
Firstly,energy drinks that have heaps of sugar make your teeth rotten, secondly,  they make you fat, thirdly they can give you  diabetes.	If you want to have a nice set of teeth, don’t drink sugary drinks. Your teeth will get full of holes and go a horrible brown colour. You will have a smile like a zombie and everyone who looks at you will drop dead from a heart attack!
Drinks with lots of sugar in them are high in energy and will make you store fat because you are taking in more energy than you use. Don’t drink them! You will get fat, fat, fat!	If you take in more sugar than you need, the organs inside your body that control sugar can’t do their job. They get sick and you get diabetes which can kill you. Everyone who loves you will be so sad because you will die before your time.
So, I am sure you will agree. Why would you drink sugary drinks when they are so bad for you? They rot your teeth, they give you a nasty disease and they turn you into a big, poofy blubber ball.